sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
