Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
