no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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