my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
