I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Moan for me like Helen Keller
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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