i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
