i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize