my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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