that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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