cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
