My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
