Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
