Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
