I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
