Kiss
Puke
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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