I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
