none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
