I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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