# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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