The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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