soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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