It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
