i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
