you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
