Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
