Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize