after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize