That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
