Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
