Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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