Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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