I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
