I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
