Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
she peed on how many people?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize