are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You've changed since you got that strap on
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
