dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
