wat bout pragnant strippers??
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize