I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
