Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
