You're so nebulous sometimes
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
