There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
