I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Too much gin, very little bucket
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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