I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Randomize
