I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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