Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
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