Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
So vagazzling was a success
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
