i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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