I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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