Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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