Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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