Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm eating all of the evidence.
where am i from again
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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