You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
