i permit you to call me
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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