Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
