ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
