8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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