Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
