can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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