Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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