On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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