that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Pooping to opera.
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