So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
