i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
