I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
