Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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