the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
