i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
