I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
