You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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