i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
