I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize