ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
