and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
