The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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