Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
