I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
